SLeepover

This weekend I had a sleepover with shauntel's kids. Justus and Alexandra. We had a lot of fun. Justus was playing with my christmas snoopy most of the time.

We made balloon animals. It was a lot of fun. Some of you may think that is Max in the picture, but it is actually Heidi's son Luke. He is justus's age and they have a lot of fun playing together.

I will not be afraid of the numbers

Every Friday I have to weigh myself and send a picture to my trainer. I have been contimplating whether or not to post my weight each week and help document the journey that I am going through. But in order to do this, that means i would have put my my weight out in public for all to see. I don't know any female that is ok doing this, especially a fat one. But I have decided to put the numbers out there and not to be afraid of them anymore. So here are the pictures I have taken so far. When I started this about a month ago I weight...279.9 LBs. That is right....almost 280 lbs. That is why i knew that i needed professional health. With the holidays and getting a schedule down...my trainer and I started to do the picture thing. That way i am weighing myself the same day, time and using the same scale. So here are the pic.




This weigh in was a mixture of feelings. Earlier this week I entered a gold gym challenged and weighted in at 274 lbs. It was at 5 at night and i at more that day. But then friday came and I felt like I was face with the real truth of where i was at with my weight. IT was very hard. I gained over a pound. For two weeks I was battling some major depression. Things weren't going well at work, I was lonely and I struggled in every aspect of my life. The last week up to this weigh in, I cried every night. Cried over my eating, my divorce, my job. When I was home, I wanted to eat everything. I was so embarrassed to email Hillary my picture. For the first time, I really felt like I let her down. (and if you know me, you know I absolutly hate failing at anything).

This was last weeks post. Hillary had given me a goal of 266, so i was so happy when I weighed in at 265. I had done cardio every day that week, and eat right. It felt awesome. What I am finding now...is that I have a really good week and go really strong, and then I struggle doing it two weeks in a row. This morning I was supposed to go to the gym early morning, but i was up all night with cramps. It was hard. I get so scared that if i miss just one day of cardio I will be letting her down again. So from now on, I will be posting my weight each week to see how I progress.

New years

I know I am late in posting things, but I have been having issues with my computer. but it is working so I am posting new years and I just got done posting heidi's birthday party. For new years, a few friends came over to my house. We ate jello shots and played kings cup. I love kings cup, but I was the one that lost and had to drink.
Marsha, Sparks and I

Cliff and his nasty ass tonge

The girls. Patricia, Michelle, Marsha and I. I think we took this just before michelle threw up.

The guys. Sparks, Deuce and Kevin

Sparks, Kevin and I

Deuce and I. I told his ass to look at the lens...but he is looking at the screen

Marsha playing kings cup.

michelle and SParks. Cute couple

Marsha and Chris. Are you noticing the Tiara's? Why not right? I love any holiday where I can wear a tiara.

Deuce and I again...he screwed up the picture. His wife needs to help him to follow directions.

Heidi's birthday

This weekend we went to a bar in SLC called Gracie's. It had the best freakin nachos ever and we had a great time.
Justin after a few drinks. What I didn't get a picture of, was him dancing with heidi...he picked her up, and tipped her on her side and started dancing with her with her legs around him...it was freakin awesome!!!

Heidi, Jenn and Sherry

Heidi and I

Chuma, alberto and me. i took this pic...i must learn a better strategy. I look awful.

In the car on the way down. I told sherry to look at the lens....does she? Nope. She is look at the screen.

The DJ took a picture of all of us. Heidi, Sherry, Me, Jenn and Ms. wood. We had to drive home with Ms. Wood...it was so scary. It was a snow storm and she was all over the road, looking at heidi and taking her hands off the wheel. I was dying.

Heidi and Justin. Heidi had two drinks practically the entire night.

Noe and I. He leaves to go to the Desert this summer. It makes me sad. Ilove him. His poor wife and kids.

Heidi and I. Ilove this picture of us. She is the best. Happy birthday gal. Your the best!

a new year...a new me.

I have to say that I wish we could have a new years celebration every few months. I think it gives everyone the sense of starting over. Whether that involves shedding a few pounds, taking up cooking classes, being a better sister, volunteering more etc.

This year i am really going to try to focus on me. I know that sounds selfish...but i haven't focused on me in a long time. so first and for most. I am going to go to therapy. I switched my insurance and I am headed back to dr. ahern. He was the therapist I started to see, but then I had to stop. I know that I have major issues with my divorce...but I am not going to let that hold me back anymore. ( at least i am going to try).

I am decluttering my house. Anything I haven't used in a year is going out. Every two weeks I am going to tackle something....stay tuned.

and of course weight

I decided not to make a new new years resolution, because frankly I should probably keep the one I made last year. However, I decided to start it early. In November, Heidi told me that her friend Hillary is starting to do personal training and offerred to train us for a discount. We were planning to start it the end of november, but things came up with work and we didn't start it until about a week before christmas. I have to say that it is the best thing I have done in a long time. This is the main thing I am going to focus on this year. My experience with her. She knows a little bit about where I am coming from and she made me promise after my loss of weight to tell my story because she thinks it will be inspirational. I don't think so, but I want to write about the ups and downs of this journey that I am going to go on.

Side note: I know that many of you have heard me say the goal that i will lose weight...but I have learned that this is the one thing I can't do a lone. Hillary and heidi are helping and it will be accomplished.

Christmas in cali

this year I went to california for christmas. It was nice and laid back. The weather was 66 degrees and it was so pretty. We did a bunch of nothing, but sometime a bunch of nothing is exactly what the dr. ordered. One of the best things about the divorce....I spend either thanksgiving or christmas with my father.