2 weeks

In 2 weeks my divorce will be final. I don't know how I feel. Should I feel happy cause i don't have it hanging over my head, or should I feel sad because it just reaffirms the fucked up decisions we (demitt and I ) made. It is the 2nd day of summer and I am already struggling. After work I come home and I am alone and it is hard. I try to muster up the energy to go and work out, but I can't. I don't know why...i just can't even get myself out of the house. Its like I put on this face of someone that is doing great, and when I get home I can be how I really am....so i stay inside so that no one knows what is really going on. The thought of being divorced makes me sick, the thought of being single and have to start dating again...makes me want to hurl. Thank god for a new job...that will keep me too busy for anything else. But what do i do for the four or five hours im home...alone?