It's so interesting to me how emotions can change so quickly. I started this blog declaring that I was going to make 2010 a great year because 2009 was so hard. This is the year that I am supposed to be taking back the control of my life. 2009 was my uncontrollable year. I couldn't control my husband and his drinking, I couldn't control him not coming home, I couldn't control my grandfather from dying and I couldn't stop my husband from moving to Florida. Granted I know I can't control others, however because of these experiences, I feel like I'm losing control of me.
Today I spent the majority of the day declaring and setting a plan for my new year resolutions. I felt so positive about the goals I'm setting for myself. But just a few short hours later, I start becoming a mess. I am just so sad. I know that being sad and crying is part of going through a divorce. Usually after about 10 to 15 minutes I can regain control of my emotions, but tonight is different. It's been about two hours or so and I can't stop the tears from coming. I try to keep telling myself that this is probably normal and that other people going through the same ordeal I am are having these same feelings. It is just so hard. I never ever thought I would ever feel this low level of sorrow and loneliness.
I know that I have my family, DeMitt's family, and such wonderful friends to help me through this hard time. I sound ridiculous when I say that I feel alone. But at 12:46 am, its pretty lonely.
Today I spent the majority of the day declaring and setting a plan for my new year resolutions. I felt so positive about the goals I'm setting for myself. But just a few short hours later, I start becoming a mess. I am just so sad. I know that being sad and crying is part of going through a divorce. Usually after about 10 to 15 minutes I can regain control of my emotions, but tonight is different. It's been about two hours or so and I can't stop the tears from coming. I try to keep telling myself that this is probably normal and that other people going through the same ordeal I am are having these same feelings. It is just so hard. I never ever thought I would ever feel this low level of sorrow and loneliness.
I know that I have my family, DeMitt's family, and such wonderful friends to help me through this hard time. I sound ridiculous when I say that I feel alone. But at 12:46 am, its pretty lonely.
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